You must be asking yourself why are most programmers single? In a recent article at Hacker News and Quora, the author discusses various possible explanations for why programmers have such high divorce rates. In particular, he claims that “while not necessarily true for every programmer”, most programmers are single because of a lack of opportunities to meet and date each other.

For this reason, rather than waiting until one starts dating someone who would also be programming professionally to start coding as a profession, people should start learning how to code while they’re in college or even high school so they can get experience with programming in their twenties 😄. This way they’ll already know what they like or don’t like about it before making such an important decision in their lives.

1) People say programmers are boring 😑

I think this is a bit unfair. Sure, there are programmers who are boring, but that doesn’t have to be the case. I’ve attended several parties where the present company was full of programmers. People who had nothing interesting to say, and only talked about programming or complained about their job/life as programmers stood out because they were so few compared to everyone else.

2) Programmers are introverted 🤷‍♀️

While this may be true for some, it definitely isn’t an accurate description of most programmers. Programmers are generally extroverted and very social people. In fact the most common trait I notice in programmers is that they tend to talk a lot more than most people do at parties.

3) People are more likely to stay with someone they’ve dated longer ❤️‍🔥

While this may have something to do with it, I don’t think it’s the main factor in most programmers’ divorces. In my experience, most programmers start dating at a relatively young age and go through many relationships before getting married. A lot of programmers only get married a few years or even months after they start dating someone.

4) People think coders are weird or that they’re not attractive 🤯

This is why people think coders are boring and not attractive, not because of any inherent traits that might make them programming-averse.

5) People who marry young are more likely to get divorced? 🤨

This has always been true, and it’s not just programmers who do this. Most people who marry young tend to get divorced, regardless of their occupation. In fact, the average age when women in the U.S. first get married is 23 , and the average age men do so is 26 .

6) Programmers aren’t good at talking about their feelings ❤️‍🩹

I haven’t noticed this to be a problem in my experience. Of course some people need better communication skills than others, but that’s not exclusive to programmers. In fact most people I know from any profession have this problem.

7) Programming requires a lot of creativity? – What does that have to do with anything! ䷀

This is true, but the problem is that most people don’t even know how to be creative. Sure, some people are more creative than others, and I’m one of them. But I’ve met many programmers who are very good at everything they do but not particularly good at coming up with original ideas. It is argued that they get caught up being too creative in their work, such that they forget to be creative in their relationships.

8) Programmers get bored easily? 😐

Again this is true – arguably! but it shouldn’t be a problem because programmers create and fix problems, which should tend to keep people interested in what they’re doing.

9) Guys who know how to code tend to give less attention to others 🤓

It’s definitely true that some guys are attracted to coding. But it’s not something that can be learned easily, and most programmers don’t actually know how to code or at least don’t consider themselves good coders. I think this “advantage” has little relevance in the real world except in very specific circumstances.

Conclusion

What do you think about his opinion? Do you agree or disagree with it? Although this is a very subjective article, I’d like to hear your opinions on the matter.

Feel free to leave comments!

You might be interested in how to deal with a dominating personality in your team.